Disappointment

We lost. All weekend. After an incredible nine run comeback Kidlet’s team lost by two in the final inning of their first game. Second game they won, but lost by forfeit as this tournament had a rule that pitchers could only pitch four innings per game, and one of ours had pitched five (whoops). Next game the wheels fell off half way through and final game was Kidlet’s rotation to the bench. I was disappointed.

And yes, Mom’s attitude was the one that was bad; not Kidlet’s. He says he just wants to play baseball. I have so much to learn from him.

After arriving to our casa dulce casa, I had to deal with an angry, withdrawn hubby who had been at home guarding the fort while we were gone. The minute I stepped in the door he had expected praise for vacuuming the house. I did thank him briefly, but without the lavished praise he thought was his due. The Hubster was very disappointed.

Hello! I’ve vacuumed twice or three times a week for twenty years now with no praise. Hubby doesn't get it.

Our new dog, a German Shorthair, is very, very strong. He doesn’t really listen to Steve. He’s well behaved for me, but (alas) I wasn’t there this weekend. During a walk his harness broke. Fortunately he loves car rides so all you have to do is open a car door & he will jump right in. When I received the text that the harness had broken, I suggested that Steve use the choke collar instead, which would also help correct the lunging which broke the previous collars and harnesses. Steve managed to break the choke collar. I was disappointed, but handled that poorly by becoming angry with Steve. No excuses. I behaved badly.

“I will never ever walk that dog again!” the Hubster informed me.

I should have respond, “No problem Dear. Kidlet can walk his own dog. During our next tournament I will send Dog to Manlet’s house to visit.” But I didn't. I allowed my disappointment domination over my attitude.

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. wrote a good article in Psychology Today on ‘How to Deal With Disappointment’.

"Even when you have a great life, you may not always get what you want. Everybody handles disappointment in his or her own way. Some pout, a few get angry, and others go into denial. So how do you handle disappointment, and is there room for improvement?

Pouting is a common response, but feeling sorry for yourself only blocks you from achieving your goals and moving forward in life. Okay, so it didn't work out; too bad, so sad. You need to get off your butt and do something constructive or fun, because life is a limited window of opportunity, and you really don't want to waste your time on what doesn't work. Better to seek out other opportunities or find a positive distraction.

Sometimes we get mad at ourselves because we have unintentionally hurt someone we love, or perhaps we feel like an idiot because we did or said something stupid. The truth is that someone who really cares about you will not hold your foibles against you, and you need to learn to do the same for yourself. Just make a brief apology and move on. Everyone involved will be better for it, especially you."

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201106/how-deal-disappointment

I have some apologizing to do today.

Then I have to get Kidlet to football practice and his orthodontist, take a run through Costco, fill the car up, do laundry, clean out the car and wash it, then do the rest of the house cleaning.

Yes Dear Husband, there is more than just vacuuming. In fact, the floors probably need vacuuming again, now that I look at them.

Disappointment usually comes from unmet expectations. I will try hard to not expect anything today other than hoping that I shouldn’t have to apologize for much tomorrow.

I need to read some Erma Bombeck or Dave Berry. It’s time to laugh.