Communication. isn't. easy. with. an. Aspergian.
Period.
I really, truly try to keep my communications simple. Steve doesn't process quickly, therefore he seems to focus on single words, not necessarily the specific word or words that the subject is about.
I, on the other hand, am verbally free flowing. I do love language, and try to incorporate new words and phrases whenever possible. The Hubster tends to get 'stuck' on unfamiliar words and phrases. If he doesn't 'get' something immediately, he stops listening at that point.
Hmmmm.
Last weekend the Manlet needed a different uniform for his tournament game. The field that his team was playing on was about forty-five minutes from our home. I called Steve and talked him through our house to get the needed items, then had him drive to a halfway point to meet me. I had slightly less than an hour to perform an act of parental heroism.
I was driving our oldest son's pickup as my trusty Jeep died the day before, and we had it towed home. I reminded my Hubby that I was in the truck, but sure enough, when he got to the prescribed meeting spot, he drove right passed me. I honked at him, waved my arm out the drivers window and flashed the headlights. He kept on driving.
I pulled out after him and frantically called his cell. He wouldn't answer. It took me five minutes of maniacal driving to force him to pull over. Time was a tickin'.
"What are you driving?" demanded my Spouse.
"Son's truck!" I yelled, ripping Manlet's clothes out of my husband's hands. "My Jeep broke down yesterday! Don't you remember?"
"But that is my dad's truck!" replied my startled Hubby.
"Steve! Your dad gave it to the kids right after they were married last year! You know that cuz you helped do a tuneup on it when they drove it back from your folks! I don't have time for this!"
"Why are you always yelling at me?" thunders Steve.
Now firmly ensconced in the truck-of-questionable-ownership, I ignored him and peeled out.
I know, shame on me for losing my temper - but I was really pressed for time. I talk too fast. I talk too loudly. I wasn't patiently waiting for everything to compute in his mind.
*Sigh*
Period.
I, on the other hand, am verbally free flowing. I do love language, and try to incorporate new words and phrases whenever possible. The Hubster tends to get 'stuck' on unfamiliar words and phrases. If he doesn't 'get' something immediately, he stops listening at that point.
Hmmmm.
Last weekend the Manlet needed a different uniform for his tournament game. The field that his team was playing on was about forty-five minutes from our home. I called Steve and talked him through our house to get the needed items, then had him drive to a halfway point to meet me. I had slightly less than an hour to perform an act of parental heroism.
I was driving our oldest son's pickup as my trusty Jeep died the day before, and we had it towed home. I reminded my Hubby that I was in the truck, but sure enough, when he got to the prescribed meeting spot, he drove right passed me. I honked at him, waved my arm out the drivers window and flashed the headlights. He kept on driving.
I pulled out after him and frantically called his cell. He wouldn't answer. It took me five minutes of maniacal driving to force him to pull over. Time was a tickin'.
"What are you driving?" demanded my Spouse.
"Son's truck!" I yelled, ripping Manlet's clothes out of my husband's hands. "My Jeep broke down yesterday! Don't you remember?"
"But that is my dad's truck!" replied my startled Hubby.
"Steve! Your dad gave it to the kids right after they were married last year! You know that cuz you helped do a tuneup on it when they drove it back from your folks! I don't have time for this!"
"Why are you always yelling at me?" thunders Steve.
Now firmly ensconced in the truck-of-questionable-ownership, I ignored him and peeled out.
I know, shame on me for losing my temper - but I was really pressed for time. I talk too fast. I talk too loudly. I wasn't patiently waiting for everything to compute in his mind.
*Sigh*
and yes, when describing our meeting spot i did mention an old restaurant that had been there years ago so steve was looking for that when he drove by me...
ReplyDeleteand yes, i was back to the field so manlet was changed & ready to catch for his team who did win...
and yes, i am now driving a rental car until the hubster fixes something else for me to drive...
I really am laughing out loud as i imagine all this played out. Not ROFLMAO but actually laughing. I tell you, we really do need a medal and yes, we are human. Can you imagine a life without all these crazy scenarios we live through. Boring perhaps or just "normal" (what ever that is).
DeleteYou are awesome! Just before i read this, i asked my Aspie husband, "What are our plans for tomorrow?" And he continued walking right past me and out the front door without a word, grunt or glance in my direction. When he came back inside 3 minutes later,he still said nothing until i asked him why he ignored me. He said he had left his phone in the car and had to go get it. Ok, but you couldve said "just a sec" or SOMETHING.
ReplyDeletedoes it ever feel like our aspergian expects us to be able to read their mind? lol
Deleteand how many times does my hubby run off to do something without communicating with me because he already 'knows' what my thoughts and answers would be? which is silly because he's usually dead wrong - most of life is situational, which is exactly what aspies can't deal with! *sigh*