Thursday, August 15, 2013


“Rook to d4 check,” says Kidlet who was across the table from me.

I groan and rue the day I taught my son to play chess.

“Which piece is the bird or are you just cheating?” asks The Hubster. 

“No Dear, that castle looking thing is the rook,” I answer, my finger on my king while I desperately look for a way out of the mess I’m in.

“Why would anyone call a castle a bird?” my Spouse persists.

“Ummmm…” I am unable to formulate an appropriate answer while overcome with the growing shadow of defeat. Though not checkmate now, another move or two and it would be.

The Hubster steps up his voice level. “WHY WOULD ANYONE…”

I cut him off. “Please, Sweetie, let me think!”


I look at Kidlet, who is trying hard not to smirk, and then back to the increasingly agitated Hubster who is turning purple with frustration and mounting rage.

I push my finger against my king to topple him and lean back. Kidlet silently pumps his fist in the air and I can lip read a victorious ‘Yes’ on his mouth. He pops up and quickly exits the livingroom before Papa Bear erupts.

I sigh.

“It’s situational, Sweetie. I did say that you should ask if you don’t understand, but the time to ask is situational.”

“But I might forget if I don’t ask NOW!” retorts The Hubster. “I can’t WAIT until later because I FORGET!” reiterates He.

I sigh again. 

It’s true. He does forget. A lot. And often. 

Or he isn’t focused on what is said and misses points so that the verbal information is garbled.

Or he just flat out isn’t listening because his mind is on something else entirely.

I ran across an informative thread regarding Aspergian ‘absent-mindedness’.

Of course everything in  life from day to day is situational, which is very difficult for my husband to grasp. He wants a hard and fast ‘rule’ that applies each and every time to each and every thing that happens.  

It can’t be done.

As I sit and sigh, trying to formulate a short and simple answer to his question, I notice that he is back to reading his book. I continue watching him to see if he is truly engrossed or just passing the time while waiting for my response.

Steve suddenly drops his book on the huge pile next to his recliner with a thump, stands up to stretch, then exits the room. As I continue to wait I hear the front door slam.

I sighed again, but this time in relief at not having to explain the ‘rook’ business.

Happy that ‘forgetfulness’ can be my friend, lol.


  1. great blog.... - its the every day tiny things that jump up and get you from behind :) -