Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Birthday Grump

It's The Hubster's birthday.

The half century one. One that most people celebrate with gaiety, frivolity, merry making and friends.

Not at our house.

Wildly barking dogs woke us up at 3:30ish this morning. Our dogs. Hubby's dogs.

"Steve, please shut your dogs up. It's too early, even for me!" I mumbled, trying to nudge the incoherent snoring form beside me.

"Hmmm, mmehhnnmmm, frummm ummm," grumbled my husband.

But wonders of wonders, he arose and sleepily wandered down the hall to the door to our basement. His deep toned, rumbled "command" echoed down the stairway. Dog nails clicked along the hallway as Spouse came back to bed, bedroom door slamming behind him.

More crazed barking ensued from regions below.

"STEVE!" I spoke sharply. "I thought you were going to stop the dogs from barking!"

Now I am sitting straight up in bed. The clock steadily glowed 3:42 a.m.

In the morning.

It was still pitch black outside.

"Sadie didn't want to stop," replied groggy Mate.

"What?" I demanded. "She's a DOG! Make her stop!"

 "I CAN'T!" proclaimed Steve.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and vaulted upright into my slippers. Grabbing my robe I headed out the bedroom door. Swinging the basement door open, I demanded Sadie to "come".

She did. I then put her in our room with Steve and our other dog Finn, and went into the kitchen to make coffee. I'm one of those people who, once awake, find it impossible to go back to sleep.

At 4:21 a.m. The Hubster's alarm for work goes off. Yah, I know. Weird time. But hey, he has Asperger's Syndrome and it makes sense to him.

As he enters the kitchen to put together his lunch, I wish him happy birthday. I then ask some sort of question for which I simply need information in order to figure out our plans for later on.

"Why are you ALWAYS complaining?" demands the Birthday 'Boy'. "For every seven words you speak, you are complaining about something with six! EVERY TIME!"

Whoooooaaahhhh! Say what?

"Steve, don't people at work ask you about your schedule at work in order to plans meetings and stuff?"

He grudgingly admitted they do.

"That's all I'm trying to do! I am trying to plan our day!"

He huffed and gruffed, and ambled away. Stomping, of course, to the shower where he proceeded to raise a total ruckus by dropping the bar soap, slamming his elbows into the showerstall walls, and other assorted bangs and crashes that resounded throughout the house.

On his way out the door I told him that Manlet and I would be gone, and stay out of his way tonight. He said "fine" and slammed the door.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie. Can I shove your cake in your face?


  1. Too Funny *because i know this so well" but its not is it? You want them to be happy and to celebrate and it never works out. Every birthday, every Christmas, every celebration is mucked up. I think Mothers Day is probably the worst and im determined next year to forget it or go away by myself.

    Hubby tells me to make the dog stop barking as well which is funny because ours is totally untrained and when she's "going off" i cant catch her (too fast) and i cant stop her barking. I really dont know what he wants me to do. You just have to wait for the "perceived threat to her family" to pass and then she will come back to bed and snuggle up. Best guard dog, all 5 kgs of her.

    1. i'm not of the bed sharing club, so both of our 65 pounder canine friends have to lay on the floor (cruel, i know - lol)

    2. Oh, i forgot to say, hubbies is 4.48am. I set mine for 5am and then take him coffee and cereal where he lays ignoring his alarm.

  2. Love the 4.21 alarm, my husband sets his for 5.18, precision or what?
    And in our house, if the dogs bark, he doesn't even wake up.
    Hannah x

    1. i seem to be the only one who hears them also... *sigh*