Forgiveness

It's hard to believe that I haven't posted in two and a half years. Reading through my old posts, it's hard to believe that the same exact things have been occurring over that same time period. I remain positive, however, that there has been change.

Within me.

A little over three years ago I opened a business in our local town in a field that I had participated as a consumer but never a merchant. In that time I was able to expand my business into a second location. Our youngest was off to college, so I filled my empty nest with busy-ness in my business.

My aspie hubby seems mostly unaffected. I do long for more time with the kids and their families, and try to make more time for my friends.

About the only thing that has changed for The Hubster is that after twenty plus years of marriage, he had to step in and be responsible for a majority of the housework, which he has.

Kind of.

He vacuums every second or third month. He still won't vacuum under furniture, insisting that dust falls straight down, not sideways. He won't vacuum baseboards because "My god, who cares, what does it matter?" He won't dust furniture because of the previous 'reason'. I do a minimal amount between his whirlwind quarterly activities. Mostly I just don't have people over. 

He was doing most of the grocery shopping, until the fridge and pantry were full of unwanted or unusable items because "it was on sale", and the food budget had become twice what it was when we had a teenage boy living here.

Daughter Dearest, I am not complaining. I am just stating fact.

I offer apologies. To my Spouse for my irritation with your behaviors. I have studied enough to know that your mind-sets are just part of your nature and not intentional towards me.

To my kids, kids-in-laws, and grandkid. You do not understand how this syndrome affects a "loving" relationship, nor can you as I have probably sheltered you from too much.

To my readers for my absence. I will try to be more diligent in my postings. We need to support each other. I did join several Facebook groups that cater to partners of Aspies. I try to commiserate, uplift, and share experiences.

To myself for being caught up too often in my own hurt feelings. I always have a choice in how my reactions affect my life. Aspergers Syndrome has once again been reclassified by the medical community. If I look at my husband and remind myself that he is Autistic, I am more able to detach the "why is he doing this to me" component.

Aspergers Definition 

I remain confident that I will watch for ways that I can change as I know that the Aspergers traits won't change. My husband can no more eliminate aspie traits than a diabetic can wish away their condition. It is what it is. 

My coffee cup next to me says it all.

Today is a Good Day for a Good Day.

I can always make more coffee, lol.