Over my birthday weekend, I realized anew how blessed I am to have so many best friends in my life. My husband, my kids, and my girlfriends; truly blessed am I. We talk nearly every day. We see each other constantly. We love unconditionally. We help, support, listen to and pray for each other. Gosh, I’m tearing up!
So it makes me sad when I asked my dear hubby who his best friends are. He has to pause and think. He doesn’t even list me. He does name a guy he went to college with twenty-five years ago and sees once every year or two, and a guy who hauls junk that he doesn’t even know his last name or where he lives.
In October 2003 Simon Baron-Cohen and Sally Wheelwright published a study they did through questionnaire on Aspie friendships.
Not surprising to me was how many Aspie men don’t know what a real friendship is, nor have close friends. Granted, I believe that men and women, Aspie or not, will score completely different on this test. But it seems like a good place to start a discussion.
In another published study on “Adolescents with Asperger Syndrome and Perceptions of Friendship” by Suzanne Carrington, Elizabeth Templeton, and Tracey Papinczak, we see that the (teenage) participants of the study overwhelmingly have problems with even the simple defining points of perceiving what friendship is.
We have all heard sayings such as “To have a friend you must be a friend” and “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. To Steve these are nothing but annoying platitudes. He simply doesn’t understand.
I can only show him by my actions and words what true friendship is. Granted, some days are harder than others, but I am making headway.
Perhaps one day soon, when I ask him who his best friends are he will immediately name me and our kids without having to think too hard.
Living in the land of Pooh isn’t for sissies!
