It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.
Youngest kiddo’s baseball didn’t go as well as we would have liked yesterday. Both games were heartbreakers. In the car he was quiet. I asked him if he would have played if he knew that they would lose both games.
He looked at me with astonishment.
“Of course, Mom! I love baseball!”
I’m not surprised. I knew that about him. He’s a great athlete and scholar; he’s competitive but modest. Love that combo in a kid.
My husband, on the other hand, is a different color altogether.
It’s Christmas. Youngest kidlet was a babe in arms. Hubby’s sister and brother-in-law were visiting. Hubby pulled out his Risk game.
I love playing games. We have cupboards full of board games, word games, and card games.
Steve set the board up. I handed the baby to my sis-in-law. I got everyone drinks and put out munchies. The game was on!
Once we had all our armies set up, on my hubby’s first turn he attacked me. Then the play went around the table. No one else attacked anyone. Steve’s turn again. He attacked me. What? I only had one country adjacent to him. My sis & bro-in-law both had many. But he attacked me.
So went the game. My bro-in-law ended up winning. My hubby was the first man out.
Afterwards I asked Steve why he only attacked me.
“Because I can’t attack guests.” Seriously?
I then went and pulled out the game’s instructions and asked him to point out that ‘rule’. He couldn’t. He insisted that it was the only ‘proper’ way to play with company.
Mind you, this was a good five years before his Aspergers diagnosis.
I tried to explain that I was his wife and he wasn’t supposed to intentionally try to beat me. He wanted to know why not. I explained that he had to live with me! We would always be ‘adjoining countries’! If he just played the game and won, that was fine, but he shouldn't be intent on making me lose.
To this day he still doesn’t get it. I won’t play cards with just him. When our Grandma was alive I’d go to visit her for the weekend with the kids. Grandma and I played cards and talked for hours upon hours. We didn’t ‘try’ to beat each other. We just enjoyed each other’s company.
I’ve explained this to Steve. He thinks the goal of each and every game is to win. I can’t persuade him otherwise.
Sweetie, I know it’s not easy being green, but you still can’t try to beat me.