Monday, April 16, 2012

The [occasionally] Talking Mule

I love ‘Francis the Talking Mule’ movies of the 50s, along with the TV shows The Lone Ranger,  Ozzie & Harriet, Gunsmoke, Leave It to Beaver, I Love Lucy, and Perry Mason. 

Francis the mule. Stubborn as a mule.

"Stubborn: Unreasonably; often perversely unyielding; bullheaded. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute. Difficult to compromise with; resistant to change."
Stephen Bauer, MD wrote about Aspie stubbornness:
[Aspies] can be challenged by the social and emotional demands of marriage, although we know that many do marry. Their rigidity of style and idiosyncratic perspective on the world can make interactions difficult, both in and out of the family.

Try to avoid escalating power struggles. [Aspies] often do not understand rigid displays of authority or anger and will themselves become more rigid and stubborn if forcefully confronted. Their behavior can then get rapidly out of control, and at that point it is often better…to back off and let things cool down. It is always preferable, when possible, to anticipate such situations and take preventative action to avoid the confrontation through calmness, negotiation, presentation of choices or diversion of attention elsewhere.

Kidlet and I arrived home from our weekend of baseball to find the man of our house ensconced in his recliner in front of the tube with 'man’s best friend' at his side wagging her tail. No, it wasn't me.

“Hey Steve! We’re home – can you come help unload the car?”

Grumbling came from hubby’s direction. “Didn’t you load it yourself?” he barked.

“Yes, Sweetie, and it’s so good to see you too! Can you help us unload the car?”

Kidlet and I headed out for a second armload of stuff. I reminded my manchild to bring his cleats in and spray them with freshener. Really spray them. Why do teenage boys feet get so smelly?

Hubby is now lumbering towards the coat closet.

“Sweetie! You don’t need a coat – please just grab our two suitcases. The smaller one goes straight to the laundryroom and you can put the other one on our bed. Thanks!”

Sweetie is now into full blown growling and stomping. He doesn't appear to be happy we are home. Hmmm.

He comes back in with two plastic grocery bags of drinks and fruit. “Umm, Steve, I just wanted you to grab the suitcases.”

“Well, then who the heck is going to get the rest of this junk!” storms he.

“I will, dear. Please just get the two suitcases for me.”

Kidlet goes by us with our backpacks and his baseball gear. I head out to the car and grab the rest of the bottled water. Hubby does get the bags, but thunderheads are growing.

I close all the car doors and head into the house. Steve is standing next to the plastic bags he brought in and set in the middle of the kitchen floor. He asks where he should put them and I assured him that I would take care of it. Then I spot a pile of dirty dishes. Will I never learn?

“Um, Steve, didn’t you do dishes while I was gone?” I needn’t have bothered asking, as he immediately replied that I knew darned well that he wasn’t allowed to do kidlet’s chore of dishes. I sighed and went into our bedroom where my suitcase sat at the end of an unmade bed.

“Steve, you didn’t make the bed while I was gone?” Silly me! Of course he immediately thundered that he had it ready to go to bed. “But did you make it at all while I was gone?”

“Why do you always have to control everything? Why can’t I just do things my way for once? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

*sigh* Why don’t I learn to keep my mouth shut?


  1. Thank you. This is wonderful and I don't know any other couples like us. Good links too.

    1. thank you for reading! i am amazed at how many aspie couples are all around us - i'm glad we can share our experiences...