Thursday, December 27, 2012

Not Broken

Once again I am reminded that Aspergers Syndrome is not something that can be ‘fixed’ or ‘cured’.
Steve is not ‘broken’. He is not ‘damaged’. He is not ‘defective’. And most of all he is not ‘crazy’. His brain just works differently. His social skills are not the same as mine. He has trouble empathizing with others. He often is unable to think of anything outside of his own sphere of interest. He is ‘emotion blinded’, not recognizing other people’s reactions or responses as being different than his. Or even seeing their reactions at all!
I work my tail off to try to compensate for any lack of communication, understand his viewpoints and opinions, verbalize my frustrations in a calm fashion, maintain my composure when his actions are exactly the same as last week’s, last month’s or last year’s; the very ones he swore he would change. But hasn’t.
This last month has been busy, busy, busy. We’ve thus far sailed through the holidays with a minimal amount of upheaval. We did attend one party that has left me convinced that if I don’t wish to be embarrassed in front of a houseful of people, I do need to stay glued to my hubby so that I can stomp on his foot should he begin to share intimate details of my life with a stranger. Hhummpff. That one topped the charts for embarrassment this year.
None the less, I noticed that Steve has been more accepting of me whispering “I’ll explain it to you later”. He has been better at letting go of the social situations that he just flat out doesn’t understand. I think he finally believes me when I tell him that if he understood why ‘we’ can or cannot say or do certain things in public or to others, then he wouldn’t have Aspergers so it would be a moot point!
This was the very first year that Steve hasn’t made a detailed Christmas list for me. I was a bit surprised, but came up with a great idea for him and Kidlet. I got them a new large screen TV for the livingroom, and a very large universal gym that I had delivered & setup in one of our spare bedrooms. They can now put the older TV on the wall to watch while they worked out.
They were both flabbergasted. For the price of one year’s gym membership, I created them a gym of their very own in our home. With the added bonus that I get to use it too!
This holiday season has been great so far. Tomorrow night we are dumping, I mean dropping off, Kidlet with his older brother so Steve and I can go see one of our favorite local performers. We’ve been invited to a grownup New Year’s party so Manlet will once again have Kidlet overnight. I’m really looking forward to it.
And yes, I shall be glued to my Sweetie’s side where I still enjoy being, but with my foot poised as he talks - lol!

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