Tuesday, January 1, 2013


New Year’s Day 2013. Time for reflection, renewal, and revision.
We had a glorious evening last night at a local café that featured a great band. The food was fantastic and there was a surprisingly good comic during one of the band breaks. Steve was the designated driver so I was able to enjoy a wonderful glass of wine with my salmon and a little bit of bubbly at midnight.
My Sweetie was polite, calm and pleasant, a drastic change from his persona of earlier yesterday.
Over the weekend we realized that both our thousand gallon septic tanks needed pumping out. It should be done every two to three years. For us it’s been seven, which is a really good sign that we have been doing things right. No garbage disposal, no bleach in the wash, no powdered detergents for dishes or laundry, or harmful cleaners down the drain.
Instead of being happy with me, my hubby was trying every which way to ‘blame’ me for the system needing pumping. He had a total screaming, swearing meltdown.
Uh huh. Yah, right. All my fault.
Yesterday morning was another meltdown go-around. Steve decided he needed a refill on a med that had no refills available. I needed him to sign a check for deposit but he was on the phone to his doctor’s office. They told him to call the pharmacy to have them call the doctor. He called the pharmacy who said that they couldn’t do that. They told him to call his doctor.
Hubby was furious.
Back again on the phone with the doctor’s office they reminded him that he had an appointment with the doc on Thursday. He rudely hung up the phone and slammed his pill bottle onto the counter. As the bottle hit, I heard rattling. A whole lot of rattling.
“Sweetheart, how many tablets do you have?” I questioned my much irked mate.
“NINE!” came the ferocious response.
“How many pills of it do you take per day?” I further quizzed.
“ONE!” barked Steve.
“Ummm, why do you need to renew the prescription today if you are going in to see the doctor in four days? Could you talk to him about it then? Perhaps he didn’t want to renew this specific med or wants to change the dosage.”
Total silence from my spouse for a few minutes as the wheels and gears in his head turned. He picked up the pill bottle and stared at it, then turned and walked off.
I sighed, then went off to not do laundry since the tanks still needed pumping.
May the good Lord bless the wonderful man who came out a few hours later to do the pumping on a New Year’s Eve. With his help, I was able to have a whole lot of crap hauled off and start the New Year with clean tanks.


  1. Oh my, does this sound oh so familiar - my son's therapist asked me if I was religious, I told him I was a born again christian (pentecostal) and he said, "Pity you are not Catholic - because you deserve a Sainthood". I think all us Aspie wives do. Especially with two in the house. I came home from 4 days away with a viral bug (gastro) and was ill for the next two days. Today Aspie Husband is very ill and he has picked someone in the chain of illness and decided it is all there fault. I think half of Melbourne has it but apparently its all her fault (my girlfriend, of course, the one I went away with) nevermind that she was very ill herself. I had to really focus not to explode. The housework issue is getting to me at the moment. There are three of us in the house but only one (ME) doing anything, ever. Now that Hubby is unemployed you would hope that something might get done but nope, it will be there when I get home after a full days work. Frustrating!!!

    1. sainthood does sound good! so sorry you're ill - that flu bug has been cutting a wide swath around our area also - yuck - i had the audacity to suggest steve start cleaning the basement bathroom (since he's been using it alot lately) & you would have thought i had suggested he cut off his own privates - a bit dramatic, i'd say... he hates having to clean anything - doesn't matter that i point out that if he were single he'd be doing it all himself... are they all eight year olds at heart?

  2. Oh, I just wanted to thank you so much for your blog!! I ran across it yesterday in searching for help for NT wives of AS husbands. I've read back a few months, and I can't wait to go back and finish the rest! I've seen others thank you for the same thing, but I just wanted to thank you for giving a positive and encouraging perspective. So much of what I found online about living with an Aspie is discouraging and hopeless, and I've been feeling so desperate lately. So I just wanted to thank you so much for putting yourself out there in order to encourage people like me... It's working!

    1. and i thank YOU for sharing! it's such an encouragement for me - i too had been frustrated at the amazing amount of discouraging info on aspie/nt relationships - i really appreciate you reading!