Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Justin Thyme

“Oh good, you are just in time!” I said as I enthusiastically hugged my then-boyfriend.
“What? No I’m not!” spurts my future spouse. He mumbles something almost unintelligible, but I’m on a roll so I don’t stop to verify that he has just given me his name. Later, I recall that it sounded like he had said his full name, but I couldn’t correlate it to the incident, so I convinced myself that I had misheard him.
This is over ten years before Steve’s Aspergers diagnosis, of which he didn’t tell me about until another three years and two more diagnoses later. He has gone to various doctors and professionals, and has racked up eight individual and separate diagnoses. I think he is finally a believer.
Lol – little did I know what I was in for when we were married!
I ran across a blog that again pointed out to me how confusing my hubby’s life can be on a day to day basis. Signs that seem ‘wrong’, directions that don’t make sense, common everyday terms that you and I understand but are convoluted to our Aspie’s mind.
The mom of an Aspie daughter relates a random conversation that so aptly illustrates the differences in our NT/Asperger worlds:
Then tonight she saw a commercial for the new remake for Footloose. She saw them dancing and asked, "Mom if her foot is loose how can she dance?" She was dead serious. Her mind thinks very literally.
Due to Steve’s extreme shyness, added to his propensity to ration his verbal communication, I am betting that this causes much worry and confusion to his daily living.
(I still haven’t found out exactly what Steve is saving all his words for, but he is still hording them like an elderly man with a house full of newspapers.)
I do try to be sensitive to quizzical looks on The Hubster’s face so I can help him accurately interpret what is being said. I am well aware that I tend to talk too fast for him, and that I can ramble. While Steve’s verbal-ness is similar to a water tap with a very slow drip, I am much more like Niagara Falls thundering and gushing all over.
Occasionally Steve will stop me with a question from a conversation we had several days before. It’s like dropping a grey pebble into a five yard load of gravel and expecting to just look down and find it.
Can’t be done.
But inquiring minds want to know, so I make up something totally random and leave my dear hubby in an abyss of confusion.
Laugh out loud - I guess it makes up for him forgetting our anniversary last year!


  1. I often ask myself, why I didn't pick that something was different both before marriage and for the last 20 years. Why - because I had never heard of Aspergers before my son was diagnosed two years ago. Goodness, our marriage barely survived several times. I just didn't know that all his odd behaviour wasn't intentional and took great offence and spent years being resentful. Knowledge is a wonderful things.

    1. that it is! whoever said "ignorance is bliss" has never dealt with aspergers syndrome...