I can do this.
I will survive.
This won’t/can’t last forever.
One way ticket to Tahiti, please.
I have absolutely no idea what is going on with Steve, but the lack of understanding, miscommunication and self-absorption over the last month is indescribable.
Temple Grandin often refers to theory of mind and mind-blindness in her speeches and her writing. Autism Speaks also discusses this:
Theory of Mind can be summed up as a person’s inability to understand and identify the thoughts, feelings and intentions of others. Individuals with Asperger Syndrome/HFA can encounter difficulty recognizing and processing the feelings of others, which is sometimes referred to as “mind-blindness”. As a result of this mind-blindness, people with AS may not realize if another person’s behaviors are intentional or unintentional.
This challenge often leads others to believe that the individual with AS does not show
empathy or understand them, which can create great difficulty in social situations.
Another source describes mind-blindness as thus:
Mind-Blindness can be described as a cognitive disorder where an individual is unable to attribute mental states to self and others. As a result of this disorder the individual is unaware of others' mental states. The individual is also not capable of attributing beliefs and desires to others. This ability to develop a mental awareness of what is in the mind of an individual is known as the Theory of Mind (ToM). This allows one to attribute our behavior and actions to various mental states such as emotions and intentions. Mind-blindness is associated with… Aspergers Syndrome… (those who) … tend to show deficits in social insight.
Difficulty explaining behaviors, understanding emotions, predicting behaviors of others, emotions of others or perspectives of others. Lack of understanding ones own behavioral impact on others. Problems with joint attention, social conventions, differentiating fact from fiction.
Whooh! This nails it. This is exactly what is going on. So it’s not necessarily intentional.
However, Steve is an intelligent man, so it seems he has the ability to stop and calm himself if he wishes. Lately he refuses. Or perhaps he can’t.
I honestly don’t know.