Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Scrambled Thoughts Please - Hold the Toast...

Steve is again on a quest to eliminate 'Aspergers Syndrome' from his medical charts.

I bet you can guess who's been trying to convince him that he's not Aspergian.

His current theory is that he has adult ADD/ADHD. Many sites, such as, list traits that easily apply to my Hubby. 

The main difference between AS and ADD/ADHD is the ability to control or change ones behaviors according to studies.

Steve definitely has trouble communicating with others in social settings. Unless he's able to pontificate about his single focus interests of cars or guns, he mostly remains silent.

In an Aspergers forum thread other Aspies describe similar experiences. 

The person with ADD/ADHD, however, never shuts up. has post after post after post describing their 'chatty' kids. A common attribute seems to be the ability to negotiate or change the behaviors.

Not so with Aspergers.

The Hubster's stock reply when I point out his regular misunderstandings of situations or communications is, "Good point."

To which I respond, "If it's a good point, then why don't you change (fill in the blank)?"

His response is always a surprised  "Oh!"

The same reaction, the same response, the same outcome - which is no change.

Another forum equates Ataraxia with Aspergers. Interesting read, especially the self medication, though I seldom consider Steve's demeanor as Zen-like. More like shut-down, turned off rock-like.

Not peaceful or even peace-filled. Just existing. 

I do know that our society as a whole reacts to the diagnosis of ADD/ADHD much more positively than a diagnosis of Autism. But if you were to observe The Hubster's quiet, somber disinterest at a party, you would be truly shocked at an ADD/ADHD label.

I, on the other hand, would wear that label quite well.

Would someone pour me some more caffeine so I can sit still please?



  1. Yeah, im rather shocked by his self-diagnosis as well. Its certainly fairly obvious to the "Informed" observers. Yes, i know exactly who is behind this and what i dont understanding it what they get out of it. Steve is who Steve is and they just need to accept that and love him. A label is only necessary if you are using it for research or understanding so that you can help him to navigate his world or to better equip yourself to live with and love him. Am I wrong?

    1. we are thinking along the same paths - i can't imagine trying to change one of my kids' very natures - behaviors are a different matter - what they do, with whom and when are up to them in their own separate lives - i can request that they control their behaviors in my home that don't match my lifestyle, or i can simply meet with them on neutral ground, or not meet with them at all - but they are who they are - and i will always love them...

      funny how many parents are unwilling or unable to allow their adult children go... they are still offering uninvited / unwelcomed advise, still trying to control them, still offering only conditional love...

      so sad for our mates...