Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I See….

Wow. Anger issues. My husband has them. Many of us do, Aspie or not. What really confounds him is not knowing why he is feeling angry.
Talking about his feelings is difficult for him. Recognizing his anger is easy for me as he demonstrates his anger in loud, noticeable, and often destructive ways. Stomping, smashing, slamming, thumping, crashing, banging, roaring, shouting, yelling rages. The noise is an immediate attention getter and mood indicator.
Hunger, or blood sugar spikes and dips, is one common factor for Steve.

(see my blog Hangry Issues from April 17, 2012) 

The lack of sleep is another. Sleep deprivation can truly wreak havoc in our home.
My hubby was commenting on his ‘mysterious’ anger to me this last weekend, and just this morning I’ve been discussing this issue with the wife of another Aspie.
Steve says that it is very frustrating for him to feel incredibly angry and not be able to pinpoint the source of his anger. I’ve read that this seems to be a fairly common occurrence for many Aspie men; perhaps even for many men in general.
We spoke a bit about feelings being neither right nor wrong, they simple are. The anger isn’t what can be dangerous – it’s our actions and reactions to the angry feelings that can be destructive.
When Steve drinks or over eats, he sleeps poorly. His snoring is atrocious. If it keeps me awake, it stands to reason that it will prevent him from resting well.
We actually had him go to a sleep disorder clinic a few years ago to see if he had sleep apnea. The clinic concluded that Steve did not, and recommended that he should lose weight, establish a regular seven day a week sleep schedule of no more than eight hours a night, with bedtime and rising time exactly the same time each day. He should also avoid alcohol, and not eat within two hours of bedtime.
Uh huh.
When Steve travels to Asia for work our doctor prescribes sleeping tablets for the length of his stay, plus a few days after he returns. Otherwise he can’t sleep at all because of the time change. The long flights are hard on him also. Good sleep is important to his work performance. It's especially essential to a healthy family life.
As his helpmate, I can help Steve explore possible reasons for his anger, provided he shares his feelings with me before he starts wreaking havoc on our home and family.
Heaven helps us if he makes me angry… LOL

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