I am pretty sure that Steve isn’t listening to me explain Kidlet’s new high school schedule. He seems to be trying to focus on my left shoulder and act interested in my dialog, but his expression is one of total distraction.
“And there’s a purple camel behind you about to slobber on your head,” I conclude. I stop talking and sit back to wait.
The Hubster continues to stare at my shoulder, and tries to smile. He nods his head.
We sit quietly for a while. It’s hard for me to sit still, but I do. Suddenly Steve frowns. He looks directly at my face with furrowed brows and then looks around us. I am getting myself ready to repeat my previous conversation when I realize that Steve is thinking about something else all together.
“Do you think we should just try to use the mufflers that Manlet gave you from that BMW?” asks my spouse. “We can always try to find FlowMasters later.”
I laugh. I knew it!
“What’s so funny?” demands the Hubster.
“Nothing Dear,” I respond, still chuckling. Steve looks confused.
An Aspie Point of View
Eye contact hurts. no, not in the painful sense but it's quite uncomfortable. I always feel that I'm revealing more than I want to with eye contact and that I'm receiving more information than I want to know. Of course, I know that eye contact is critical to spoken communication, so often I'll compromise by either of two methods…
The blog goes on to suggest a couple of methods and give some personal examples of how the blogger deals with the situations. I was fascinated to read through the comment section. I suppose I hadn’t truly understood how uncomfortable, overwhelming, and even painful for Aspies to have to make eye contact with others. One person even commented:
“Why do we have to try to change anything about ourselves it's who we are.”
Once again it’s an “OH!” moment for me. That is so true.
I remember teasing Kidlet once when he was three. He looked at me solemnly and said, “That’s ridiculous, you silly woman!” He then turned and went off about his business. I stood in shock for a moment or two, then began laughing so hard I nearly fell over.
Thinking about it still cracks me up. I’m beginning to have the same reaction to my expectations about my hubby’s communication techniques. I am silly!