It’s amazing how wonderful life can be with good communication.
It’s equally amazing how terrible it can be without.
For a person who lacks the ability to successfully convey their thoughts and feelings to those around them in their family lives, work place and relationships it must be the thrill of victory one minute, and the agony of defeat the next.
I find that I have to pay very close attention to Steve’s moods, body language, and facial expressions, as well as his hand signals, in order to adequately communicate with him on a regular basis.
My husband is a finger thrower.
Years ago, not long after I had first met him, my sweet Hubby-to-be was trying to describe something to me. I had gotten distracted for some reason and suddenly realized that he had stopped talking and was wilding throwing his right hand out and away from himself with his index finger pointing forward and the rest of his digits curled up into a fist.
“What?” I asked in puzzlement.
More finger throwing accompanied by a fierce look of frustration.
“Steve, what’s wrong?” I continued to quiz.
He threw his arm down to his side and stomped off. I was bewildered.
I have since figured out that Steve’s mind is such a whirlwind of activity that sometimes his words get lost. He becomes extremely agitated when this happens and he can only point towards something as he searches the recesses of his mind for what it is he is trying to say.
Sometimes I can guess, sometimes I can’t. If I don’t deduce his intend in an expedient fashion, my Sweetie becomes frantic. That in turn frustrates me. Communication breakdown. It’s a tough one to circumvent.
Verbal communication serves many purposes, such as requesting things, getting attention, giving or receiving information, expressing feelings and opinions. Those with Aspergers Syndrome are often severely hampered by their inability to communicate efficiently or express their own emotional state.
Granted, Steve’s nonverbal finger throwing will get my attention, as well as serve as an occasional irritant in my life. But I am learning to be more patient and help him use his words. Of course his method of delivery can be interesting or startling, depending upon the situation. (see "The Bark is Worse")
It must be time to laugh.