“Honey, have you seen my (fill in the blank)?” calls the Hubster from our room.
I finish filling the coffee pot, hit the brew button and head towards the frantic sounding voice in our bedroom.
It’s early morning and Steve is trying to get ready for work. He is not the early morning person that I am. But this is not why he can’t find whatever it is that he is looking for. He simply can’t see what is directly in front of him because his mind blinds him to what he isn’t prepared to see.
This is a shoe. I see it. I see a Nike swoosh on the side of the shoe. I also see the logo for a search engine on the side of the shoe. I recognize these logos as I am familiar with the brands.
When Steve looks at this shoe, he says he sees the shoe. We are in agreement there. I ask him what branding, if any, he sees on the shoe. He says he sees blue shoe laces and spilt paint, but no ‘brand’. Since the Nike and Firefox brands are not specifically interesting or familiar to him, he does not recognize them and therefore doesn’t see them.
I walk to our bedroom doorway where I can see the item he is desperately searching for. It’s right at the front corner of the dresser where he put it last night so he wouldn’t forget it today. I gently turn him around and point wordlessly. He still can’t ‘see’ it. I then go pick it up and hand it to him with a kiss.
I can’t imagine how tough it must get for him at work. I am his helpmate and I love him. He may well be an irritant to those around his workstation. Or not, as many of the people he works with, at least of those I’ve met, are Aspies also and may not notice the Hubster’s peculiarities.
Sometimes I wonder how much Steve’s dyslexia and poor depth perception has to do with his failure to recognize objects he’s looking for, or accounts for his abysmal driving skills for that matter. Multitasking is another weak area for Steve, as is staying focused on a job or an activity.
His best intention is to get ready quickly for work in the morning, but he might notice a note to himself lying next to his sink. It’s reminding him to check a motor manual about some obscure bit of info. It’s irrelevant to his ‘getting ready’ for work. Off he goes to the bookshelves in the basement. I happen to notice the basement stair lights on and go to investigate.
“Steve, are you going to be on time for your vanpool?”
“Hmmmm?” mumbles the Hubster as he paws through the books piled on and jammed into the many cases along the wall.
“Sweetie, it’s time to go to work. What are you looking for?” I reply.
“Well, I was thinking the other day….”
I interrupt him immediately by hugging & kissing him, turning him towards the stairs as I do so.
“Off you go now! Have a wonderful day, Sweetie! Email me if you'd like me to find something for you.”
Steve is now heading up the stairs with me on his heels. I fill his commuter mug, grab his lunchbox and take them to the front door.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” he responds slowly as he slips into his jacket, then grabbing his coffee, lunchbox and backpack he heads out the door. “But I was just thinking…”
His voice trails off as he slams the door of his truck and starts it. Through the windshield I can see his lips still moving as he continues to explain his thoughts to himself. I wonder if he will still be 'thinking' about 'it' as he climbs into the van for work. Probably.
I sigh and head off to another cup of coffee. I hope my 'Professor', absentminded as he is, will have a wonderful day. He sure is lucky to have me, lol.