Just when I think that Steve can’t do anything else to amaze or confound me, he does just that.
I do recognize that many Aspergians have a bit of OCD in their makeup. My spouse most certainly does. I am not sure to what degree it plays in his theory of mind or mind set-ness, but lately it’s been a dominate force.
Friday it came to light that Steve is now trying to ‘fix’ an incident that happened seven years ago. And alter a perception of something else that happened three years ago. And solve a recent misunderstanding that is not fixable. All of which he refuses to leave alone.
He has spent the last ten days totally obsessed by these three things, making phone calls and trying to make changes that could possibly severely damage our family.
He won’t stop.
I’ve tried to reason with him. I’ve tried to get him to talk to someone, professional and non-involved, to put everything into perspective and accept the realities of all three situations.
He is stubbornly resisting. He refuses to consider anything other than his mindset. He is fixated on achieving an impossible conclusion.
Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, I remind him. Not a war. Not a competition. We are to work together for the good of our family.
When we first married, we agreed that we wouldn’t do anything individually that we couldn’t agree on together. He now says that he didn’t really agree.
Would he be happier alone, I ask.
He says he isn’t sure.
Does he realize that he is fixated on subjects that are unchangeable? He refuses to recognize that. He is of the belief that his thought process can alter reality, that if he has something in his mind, then it must be true.
I found an extensive article on Aspergers and OCD.
Now I think that my brain is melting.