Wednesday, September 18, 2013


The last two weeks have been hellacious in our household. I’m at my wits end trying to figure out what to do short of packing Kidlet and I up and moving out. I wouldn’t want our dogs to suffer.

The Hubster has been a holy terror. He admits that his ‘logic’ and thinking have been skewed of late, but it isn’t stopping his erratic and irrational behaviors. He won’t go to a counselor or his doctor. He won’t stop doing absolutely bizarre things.

I’m worn out.

I usually pay the bills. I’ve been doing so for the last twenty years. I had a lab billing for Steve that seemed odd. It looked like there was some double billing, so yesterday I asked him to call the lab and request a full billing statement from them including what was billed to our insurance and what they had already been paid. I had tried, but due to confidentiality issues, the lab said that they couldn’t discuss the issue with me.

When The Hubster did call, he just paid the extra amount that I was questioning “because the lady said we owed it”.

After that call concluded he decided to call his doctor’s office to request the total amount of his last visit. He then paid that ‘balance’ which both the insurance company and I had already paid. The money he put on his account was extra. They’ve now said that they could ‘hold’ it until another visit. Criminy.  

I discovered all of this while at the grocery store trying to use my cash card and having it declined. I texted him and found out his very expensive activities of the morning. Fortunately I had enough cash on me to pay for all the groceries. I would now have to transfer money from savings to checking to cover the rest of our household expenses until next payday. I was pissed.

After some furious texting back and forth (with me insisting that all I had requested was for him to do was call the lab for a full billing statement as they wouldn’t talk to me about his ‘private medical issues’ and he insisting that he had to pay the bills since I obviously wouldn’t) he barely managed to get himself to his carpool after work. I received a sheepish call from him a while later when he arrived at his park and ride lot to discover himself standing keyless next to his locked truck. His keys were sitting on top of his desk.

I always carry a spare on my key ring as this isn’t the first time that this has happened, though Steve won’t admit that he is forgetful.

“I’ve never forgotten my keys before!” says an indignant Hubby.

Ummm, I beg to differ, my dear.

“Well, I haven’t forgotten this week!” insists He.

Uh huh. Reality.

I often find myself telling Steve that just because he thinks something in his mind it doesn’t make it true or real.

When I arrived at the park and ride lot adjacent to a local church, I saw Steve’s truck, but no Steve.

I honked and waited, thinking he might be waiting inside the church.

No hubby.

I called his cell phone several times, once just before arriving and twice when there. No answer. I honked again.

He finally came running out of the woods that were next to the parking lot.

“What were you doing in there?” I asked incredulously.

He insisted he was closing up his laptop and didn’t think I’d get there so quickly.

Say what? I had initially said I’d be there in twenty minutes. It had actually been twenty-two minutes, which technically made me ‘late’.

As I slipped the truck key off my ring I had an image of a wood stump drum set flash through my mind. I wonder if he was off in the woods pretending to be Charlie Watts.

I refrained from asking.

And yes, I am still at home, he is still alive, and I hope today will be better, lol.


  1. Bless your heart! My 14 yo boy is an Aspie. His future wife is already in my prayers.

  2. only 14? well, you will probably end up with 'camel knees' as you shall spend a great deal of time on them praying, lol...

  3. I do the same. I pray that someone out there will "understand my son" whilst at the same time not wishing this life on anyone. While my Aspie hubby doesnt need anyone, my 16 yr old Aspie pines for friends, especially a girlfriend. Of course his obsessive behavior towards them has them running for the hills. We have a new puppy and this has taken the edge of his loneliness.

    Hubby's car was rear ended this week while he was stationary and then they drove off before he could get details. He loves his car and so he has taken on all the world and wants to fight but has no one to do it with but me. We even have to pay the excess on insurance because they have no one to bill. He calls me just to yell at the world to someone using expletives that are unmentionable and when i ask him to stop swearing at me he says im a snob. Hes says "You werent so prudish when i met you". Hello!! I was in my 20's and im now almost 50. Its called maturity. Should i mention what a gentleman he was when i met him and how he has changed into a grumpy man who treats stangers better than his wife. Our 20th aniversary is next month - i need a medal but i'd settle for a holiday, alone! LOL.

    1. so hard to see our kids longing for things in their lives such as friends because, of course, to have a friend one must BE a friend - hard concept for an aspie to grasp...

      lol re: hubby - don't you know that you are not allowed to change? he is, you aren't! let me know where you are heading on holiday & i can meet you - sri lanka, perhaps?