Sunday, December 29, 2013

It’s All Greek Salad to Me

Kidlet has been off visiting his sister’s and brother’s families since Christmas Day. I was actually able to see him last night at my girlfriend’s home where we all gathered with other friends and their families for a holiday get together. It’s strange not having him around each day. I miss him.

For my hubby, however, it presents an entirely different dilemma than lonesomeness. Steve and I are now responsible for Kidlet’s chores. Dishes, taking out the trash, feeding the dogs, along with miscellaneous tasks that come up.

For my Aspergian husband, it’s all Greek. He doesn’t understand.

“Sweetie, can you run this out to the trash for me?” I ask as I set a large bag of refuse from our Christmas gift unwrapping next to the front door.

“Why should I do that!” thunders Steve. “That’s Kidlet’s chore!”

“Kidlet is gone for a few days, Dear. I really don’t want to leave the trash there until he returns. Do you want me to do it instead? I thought that you were on your way out to the shop right now.”

“I AM!” rages The Hubster. “AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND! You told me to never, ever, ever, ever do Kidlet’s chores for him!”

I take a deep breath instead of the bait.

“Steve, I’ve asked you to let him do his chores when he is here. Right now he is not here. This is a situational rule. I am asking you to please take this out for me since you are going out anyway.”

Hubby harrumphs and grumbles as I walk away to go start laundry. A bit later I walked towards the livingroom and see the bag still sitting by the front door. I decided to say nothing about it.

Since I get up so early, usually around 4:30 a.m., I will often take a midday nap. A siesta if you please; a common, ordinary event in many parts of the world. It hurts no one and helps me stay up until 9:00 or so.

Due to the feasting of the last couple of days, we both grazed through leftovers for lunch and he watched a bit of the tube. I asked Steve to turn off the TV as soon as he was done watching his show as I was going to take a nap. He assured me he would.

I had been asleep for maybe ten minutes when there was an awful screech of metal as well as banging and clanging coming from the doorway at the top of our basement stairs.

To keep our two dogs downstairs while we eat or are gone, as our Finn can both open doors and clean off an entire countertop of edibles in less than a minute, I bought and installed a metal garden fence section as a swing gate just inside the basement door. It has two hasps with pins to keep it shut. A couple of days before Christmas something spooked Finn when we were gone and he literally tore through that gate, popping welds off and pulling the gate open. He greeted us at the door when we returned home. The gate was a mess and Finn was nearly inconsolable. Sadie cowered in the background. We never did figure out what frightened them.

So now I am trying to take my nap and The Hubster decides he needs to weld the gate back together. Being that it was so twisted and misshapen; disconnecting it from the hinges that attached to the doorframe was a challenge for him. Not to mention noisy.

“Steve! Please stop and do that later! I’m trying to rest!” I called out.

More clanging and banging. I get up. “Steve! I told you that I was going to rest for a bit! PLEASE go away!”

What is wrong with you!” thunders He. “Why don’t you sleep at night like a normal person! Just go back to sleep – I’m not making that much NOISE!”

I was dumbfounded. This man is supposed to be my helpmate, my friend. He wouldn’t stop his racket until the gate was off. Then he did leave. I tried to get back to sleep but couldn’t. Shoot.

Granted, he did a nice job on the welding, and remembered to touch up the welds with fresh paint, though it was flat black and the rest of the gate is shiny black. I kept my mouth shut. But that bag of trash sat there until the next day when I picked it up and headed out the door with it.


Can someone please get me a new iPhone with a verbal translator app installed? I think that I have been speaking Greek again, lol.


  1. ROFLMAO. At least your Kidlet has chores. Mine wont do them because "why should I, Dad doesnt" or "That's not my job, its yours" so i politely ask why its my job when there are 3 in the house? "Because you are the MUM". Can i use your verbal translator app to define MUM. I bet it says, slave..... I too get up around 5am but go through until about 11pm including a full days work. When i get the chance ill grab a nap on the weekend. The response is usually that im wasting the weekend sleeping. I was up at 5 this morning making Aspie Hubby's breakfast and packing his lunch. At 6 he comes out and say, "I cant do it today, im too tired" "I couldnt sleep last night". I know he couldnt because he kept me up the whole night but here i am at work (because i have responsibilities) while he sleeps all day. Arhhhhhhhhh.

    1. lol - oh sister, you are singing my song!

  2. Oh i have to share this with the only one i know who will understand. Each Monday very early, i get a delivery from Aussie Farmers Direct which is a group that pays Australian farmers a good price and delivers to your door. 4L fresh milk, 2L juice, cheese and a dozen eggs. Its my symbolic stand against the big supermarkets running farmers to the ground. Well its always there at 5am when i get up to make hubbies breakfast and we have always wondered just when it gets delivered. Well last night hubby was up and he heard the delivery at 2.15am. He checked the clock. Very excited to tell me today what time it was. Then i had to ask. Why didnt you bring it in and put it in fridge. He left it outside the front door, walking straight past the front door to go to bed. He didnt even think about it, never occurred to him to do that. It sat out there for 3 hours until i got up. Guess who complains the loudest when the milk goes off?

    1. things that seem to be just good old common sense to us are a mystery to our aspergians, don't you think?

    2. Julie - I miss you so much! You give me reason to laugh, and help me understand the hubby. Where are you??? please come back

    3. oh sweetie, i am here! since christmas i've been having our house interior painted - what a job! i usually write in the mornings after hubby & manlet leave...

      we are done with the big stuff (i'm left with the trim), so it's time to write again!

    4. So glad you are back! hope the fresh look is wonderful! thank you, thank you.:)

    5. wonderful indeed! my white kitchen cabinets are sparkling white again - everything feels new & exciting again... gosh, think i could paint steve? lol

  3. yeah, i can relate to some of this from my relationships... i'm trying to get my partner diagnosed.

    1. not sure if diagnoses help much - my hubby has had eight separate doctors all come to the same conclusion independent from one another, but my inlaws say he doesn't have it so he is mostly in denial - he has gone to some aspie only group meetings and says he relates to many of them, but his mother says... lol

  4. Sure do like your blog,
    You retweeted one of my tweets on twitter, and that lead me to your blog!

    Look forward to stopping back often.
    Thanks for sharing


    1. don't you just love twitter? my husband says he doesn't get it - the punctuation (or lack there of), as well as the hashtags & abbreviated style of writing makes reading tweets impossible - we must follow our rules of grammer, mustn't we?

      hellaciously laughing out loud

  5. Wow. So glad you have this blog and that I have found it. I live in a house with a husband with asbergers and 4 growing boys. My oldest who is 14 has been diagnosed with ADHD for yrs but I always knew there was something more. He has no friends, he has problems communicating or understanding social or emotional cues. Very much like my Husband. I really appreciate your blog. It helps a great deal for me to know I'm not alone in this. We are going on 17 yrs of marriage and it's been rough. He is smart and a wonderful provider, just lacks communication skills and the social cues. My son on the other hand, though still young, is really struggling. I have got to get him to a good shrink that can help him before and during high school. My husband had a good friend all through high school up until we got married and then the friendship faded. I wish my son would find a friend like that. Anyway hope to read more from you soon. Take care.

    1. first off, CONGRATS! you've made it for seventeen years now! well done...

      secondly, i honestly don't know how you all manage life with both an aspie mate AND apsie kidlets - i know that i'm tearing my hair out with just one in the house!