Friday, April 11, 2014

Aspie Faceblock

Social media. Personal interaction. Modern day pen pals. Post, tweet, instasnap, instant info, 'thoughtless' thought.

Steve doesn't get it.

First and foremost is the question, "Why?"

Why should he have to share his thoughts? Why would he take random photos and share? Why should he be responsible in keeping other people informed about things that either they should already know or shouldn't know at all? 

Who's business is it, anyway?


A few years ago The Hubster came to me much perplexed.

"Why don't I have any friends?" asked He.

"Ummm, I'm not sure, Dear" I replied hesitantly. "To have a friend you have to be a friend?"

"But why aren't YOU my friend?" quizzes my Spouse.

"I believe that I am your best friend," replieth I. "That's what many spouses are to eachother."

"But you aren't!" rants The Hubby. "I've looked every single day, and you aren't!"

I drop my dust rag, and sitting down on the nearest chair, I peer at my husband. He is in his agitated state, bouncing up and down on his toes, flapping his hands against his sides. Though he is looking at some point over my head, I know he is focused on my response. He's not talking about generalized friendship. He's referring to something specific. 

A lightbulb flashes for me.

"Did you sign up for a Facebook account?" I inquire.

"YES! And NOBODY will be friends with me!" Steve's vocal level is rising. He is truly mystified.

"Who did you send friend requests to, Sweetie?"

Steve turns his gaze down to my face, searching for a clue. He's now confused.

"Why do I have to ask?" he blurts. "Why can't they?"

I shift my weight slightly to dust a nearby table. "How would anyone know you are on Facebook? You put a person's name into the Facebook search bar and when you find someone you know, such as myself, you click on the button 'Add Friend'. The person will see the request and either approve or reject your request."

Steve's face was a total blank at this point. I could see his eyes glazing over. TMI 

I stood up and gave my hubby a hug. "If you'd like, we can sit down this evening and log into your account. I will help you find the kids, some of our friends and family, and even some of your old high school or college buddies. It's easy!"

The Hubster relaxed at once, then left the room. We did get logged in that evening and sent a couple dozen friend requests, none of which were rejected.

Yesterday I checked on Steve's status. It looks like he hasn't been on his Facebook in about a year or so. 

So much for that! I will make sure I never mention Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, WhatsApp, Pheed or SnapChat, lol.


  1. Oh My Goodness! Thank you for sharing your stories! I find your views refreshing. Last weekend I threw a Surprise 60th birthday party for hubby. His reflection on friendships was precious and away from his normal comments, I have seen appreciation aimed at me, that I have previously missed. Thank you, thank you please keep sharing. It is good for me and I suspect others too! Blessings!

    1. thank YOU for sharing! i really appreciate everyone who reads, understands, and laughs along with me!

      blessings to you and your family also...

  2. I've been reading your blog for a couple years now- absolutely love it! I use your blog as a tool to help relate to my husband, since my being AS is hard on him, and you give a breathe of fresh air! :) Thank you and never stop writing!

    1. oh how i appreciate your feedback! thank you so much - i do receive comments and input from aspergians who tell me how 'wrong' i am in my perceptions &/or feelings - it's nice to have support!

  3. You don't do anything "wrong", you're simply showing your perspective of your marriage. If it helps you, it helps him too! I don't know much about my AS, besides what my relationship (& my husband) has taught me. We both read your blog and he swears I act like your husband too lol. Don't let anyone discourage you!

    1. once again, thank you for your encouragement! some days are a breeze while other days i feel stalled in the water - fortunately, the breezy days seem to out number the windless days so i just keep sailing along, lol