Tuesday, April 15, 2014

No Conventions

I'd been up for several hours when Steve rolled into the kitchen to make his lunch for work. I say 'good morning' to him as I was getting ready to make a new pot of coffee when he 'greets' me.

"Looks like I will have to make coffee," grumps Hubby.

"Umm, no Dear. I am doing that right now." I was puzzled as my actions of filling the pot's water reservoir and grounds basket  made my intent seem apparent.

At least to me.

As Steve grabbed various food items from the fridge and set them on the counter, I reclaimed a full, unopened head of cauliflower from his stockpile.

"Not this please. I was planning on using it for dinner," I explained as I put it back in the refrigerator.

"Hurmmph, mumble mumble," growled the Spouse.

I should have heeded the warning.

He proceeds to assemble a salad for himself. He goes to the sink to rinse off a yellow bell pepper, then turns to carry the dripping wet orb to his prep center.

"Here, let me dry that off for you," I said cheerfully. I am disgustingly happy in the morning. I've been told that it can be offensive.

"It doesn't matter!" snaps The Hubster.

"Nope, it doesn't!" I reply lightheartedly. "Here, let me slice it for you. If you cut straight across the top like this, the stem pops out and you grab the seed center, give it a twist and voila! It's seeded!"

I steadfastly ignore the snarling rumble from the Spouse. Mistake.

Steve finishes his salad, snaps the lid on the container, picks up a bag of broccoli, the remainder of the bell pepper and the bottle of dressing, then steps to the fridge to return the items to shelves and drawers.

I then, with love and helpfulness, as I am his helpmate, pick up the box of salad greens and try to hand it to him as he stands there with the fridge door open.

"I don't have to follow conventions!" roars He, slamming the door with a bag of carrots in his hand.

Startled, I step back and put the box down on the counter. "But I'm just helping!" I say.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" thunders my Sweetheart, now a contradiction in terms.

Whoops. I think I just stepped on a wasps' nest. Thoroughly stung, I tell him he's being a jerk. Wrong reaction by me. He leaves the house mad.

In truth, he's still half asleep and I did need to leave him alone. I already know that. Sometimes I forget to be sensitive to his 'morning moods'. After all, even Disney, back in 1937, recognized Grumpy! lol


  1. Gosh we are almost twins. I also am happy in the mornings and it seems to set everyone on edge. They dont want to discuss anything and they grump there way through half the morning. You are lucky that A. Steve makes anything for himself & B. he tries to put away after himself. Both of which would not happen in my house by either of my Aspie men. I often wonder if i through my willingness to be the perfect wife and mother havent made both of them helpless. I do know its tiring.

    1. steve would starve if he didn't do some of his own meals - i'm way too busy to 'wait' on him - most evenings that manlet doesn't have sports i cook & put aside some for steve's lunch - love cooking...

      i wonder how long your guys would starve if you were 'off duty'? lol

    2. its called take away! Money is not one of their considerations despite the fact im the only one working .

    3. lol - cultural terminology - we call it 'take out' - and someone in our home spends like there's no tomorrow (though he is the primary bread winner)

  2. You are my hero! Love, love, love your humor!