Friday, May 11, 2012

My Yoda

How beloved is Star Wars? There might be a handful of people who remained unmoved by that incredible, spectacular, amazing big screen event, but not many. How positive I was that this subject would get your attention!
Time passes and younger generations are becoming unaware of the ‘great’ movies and TV shows that have had a hand in shaping us into the people we are. I was flabbergasted at some dialog in a TV show the other night. The main character, who was probably forty-ish, made reference to ‘the good witch Glinda arriving in her bubble’, to which the teenage girl responded that he must be eluding to something that was waaaaay before her time as she didn’t have a clue as to what he was referring to.
Really? There is someone on earth who isn’t aware of one of the best characters in the movie Wizard of Oz? Can it be that there are people around us who don’t know who Yoda is? Or The Hulk? (Bill Bixby is turning in his grave.)
Such is the life of an Aspie. Due to their self-centered mindset, they often miss key elements in world development. Some may not enjoy sitting through movies, thus don’t a clue who Jack Sparrow is. Others don’t pay attention to world news, so are stumped when friends or coworkers are discussing nuclear meltdown in the Japanese tsunami. Aspie single focus interests truly preclude absorption of ordinary, but life changing social events happening around them.
So begins our NT (NeuroTypical) lessons in patience and understanding. Because our adult Aspie loved one inhabits a ‘grownup’ body, we expect ‘grownup’ knowledge and behavior from them. Because Aspies many times are brilliant in scientific or other areas, we (well, perhaps just myself) expect them to be brilliant in everything.
Not so. I jokingly refer to my husband as my ‘tagalong child’. I am constantly amazed at what I need to explain to him or remind him of. There are many things he's missed so that he has no reference point when people are discussing many topics. He says he feels lost and stupid. Lost he may be, stupid he definitely is not.
I have to remember that his reactions to things often parallel that of a learning toddler, which seems odd from an adult. I need to reaffirm my love for him so that my reaction to his queries is tempered by that love.
I also remind Steve to count his blessings and not his torments. He has a tendency to focus on the negatives instead of the positives in his life. He is stymied at times by his lack of understanding. I explain that as his spouse I am his helpmate and if we were exactly the same type of person, one of us would be unnecessary. He shouldn't feel shame at not knowing everything.
After all, who’s your daddy? Laughing. Out. Loud.

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