Sunday, February 10, 2013


“Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you.”
Rot! Malarky!! WORLD’S BIGGEST LIE!!!
Once said, words can never be erased or undone. Even seemingly innocuous things like, “What were you thinking?” can sow seeds of doubt and self-defamation in someone’s heart.
Thus, I have to guard my tongue constantly, as my mouth often works faster than my brain. Or my ‘filter’ needs updating or replacement, just like the water jug filter or furnace filter.
I love the game of Scrabble. I play a tablet version every day during my lunch time. I love words that are uplifting and edifying. I hate words that destructive or degrading.
Words spoken to me as a child can still roll around in my mind today, along with the tone of voice that my parents used to ‘brand’ me with them, even though I can’t remember what we had for dinner two nights ago.
In my teens, those words had a huge influence on my behavior. After all, if they already thought I was worthless or no good, why should I care about ‘being good’?
Today those thoughts rarely pop up. I have learned to love myself, and have used those experiences to strongly color my life with my husband and children. I know that it’s been relatively successful as every time we speak on the phone, we end the conversation with ‘love you’! It’s so automatic that I find myself uttering that phrase to a service rep or acquaintance on the phone. Perhaps it might make their day a bit brighter. Or perhaps they will remember me as just some crazy lady who called. Whatever. I love my hubby & kids.
Just this morning I was reading:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Looking at these words reminds me of why I keep on ‘keeping on’ with Aspergers Syndrome in my life. I promised to love my husband until death do us part. I plan on keeping that promise, no matter what.
Do I ever get angry, frustrated, irritable, exasperated or discouraged? Of course, but I am doing better at focusing on the positives and overriding the negatives. I try to pick out a word in the verses above to lead me each day.
Today it is ‘hope’. As in, I hope I can be a better person, and I hope I can be patient and kind today, no matter what the circumstance.
I have that hope because of love. What if I’m not feeling the love? Then I can choose to act as if I do, until I feel the way I am acting.
Easy? Nope, not all the time. But practice makes perfect, and boy do I have a lot of situations each day with which to practice!!! lol
a post script to those who struggle with abuse in their lives - do NOT put up with abuse to yourself or your children for ONE second - find a safe place to stay & someone for counsel - love yourself enough to take good care of yourself & your kids - we only have to live one day at a time - "for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare & not for evil, to give you a future & a hope." jeremiah 29.11


  1. Amen

    I as usual agree again. My guys have no filter and the words are out before they've had time to think. Sometimes its so hurtful. I will always remember them - especially being told by my son that im not his mother, she died in a car accident. My husband has said so many cruel things in his Aspie meltdowns there are too many to catelog but the hurt remains. Forgiveness is for oneself and not for the other person. I learnt this in a woman-to-woman careforce course at my church and it has enabled me to get rid of the black seeds that get planted in me. Trick is not to water or feed the black seeds, so they die. Im really getting into this gardening thing - arent I (check out the blog - ive added 2 on the garden and 1 on cooking and you can now follow me - if you want). I

    I also have been encourage to leave both of them, sometimes for my safety and other times for my sanity. Even from my own family which i was very surprised as we are a strong christian family. My brother in law even married us. I also took my vows seriously and a look on it as a contract with God that i will honour my vows and be there in sickness and in health. I know being an Aspie is not and illness but you know what i mean.

    Thanks for words of encouragement. PS. Im pentecostal.