Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Black Widow

Networking with my compatriots in the NT/Aspie lifestyle gives me a much needed release when I am frustrated, a place to cheer ourselves when things are going well, and the chance to empathize with another’s anguish.
I certainly have been there and done that. A message came through this morning.
“Remind me again that my husband has Aspergers and is facing an unknown medical crisis which is making him completely unbearable and I need to stand by him during this....... because right now I'm ready to kill him.”
My immediate response was:
“it's been awful here also - must be the spring weather - my suggestion for you is to stand with your back to him - that way he won't be in your line of sight!!”
To which she replied:
“lol. Thanks. I should probably stay away from fire arms, sharp objects, and frying pans.”
It’s been one of those weeks. For whatever reason, Steve is back to playing god again. He thinks he knows all of my reactions and responses to everything, so he has stopped communicating with me. He “thinks”, there for it all must be true! How often do I have to remind him that so much of our family life is situational? And why, oh why does he need to save his words? What, or whom, is he saving them for?
My hubby, as do many other Aspies, thinks in puzzle piece pictures. He takes a single experience, ‘cements’ it into his memory as a specific piece, then tries to fit all similar situations up against it. For the most part, his anticipations are semi-correct.
The problem lies in the fact that often the puzzle piece experience is fairly close to the reality that we are actually living at the moment, but not exactly the same. So, just like putting together a large, complicated jigsaw puzzle, if it isn’t the exactly correct puzzle piece, it doesn’t fit. And no amount of pounding on that piece will make it fit.
As I said, been there, done that.
Because my hubby is so very intelligent, he believes that he absolutely knows everything. When he runs across information that ‘does not compute’, he rejects it, or demands to know exactly how I would know and where I got the info. And yes, I do become irritated when he challenges me. It so often seems as if he doesn’t believe a word I say. He is also very rude about it. To me. Not to other people.
Fume, fume.
Fortunately Steve has to be out of town for the four days, which will give me a much needed break. Him also, I presume.
Perhaps I should check my Black Widow outfit to see if it might need cleaning before he gets back, lol.

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