Thursday, May 2, 2013

Say What?

“I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.” 
This sounds just like my hubby. But it really is a quote from Jarod Kintz’s It Occurred to Me.  

Communication for many of us is a cornerstone of our relationships. When one’s spouse is animatedly against regular communication, insisting that they need to ‘save’ their words (for who or what, I’m not sure), or that they only said such and such because they ‘knew’ that it was what we ‘wanted to hear’, life becomes increasingly difficult.
As does said spouse.
Every person is uniquely different. We all have good traits and bad. We will communicate differently depending on time, place, and circumstances. We are emotional beings who can fluctuate from day to day.
But trying to talk to The Hubster can be so frustrating for me (and I’m sure he would say the same about me).
It’s interesting that I receive comments from people with Aspergers who want to ‘correct’ me on how I view my marital situation, how I interact with my Aspie husband, and who think that I am projecting my own hubby’s Aspie-ness onto everyone with Aspergers Syndrome.
I hope you realize that I am not. My posts are unique unto myself and my spouse. I am simply a wife who has lived with an Aspergers man for twenty years. I continue to read and learn. I am finding through this blog’s comments from other NT partners/spouses that many of the situations that we go through are similar.
I am not alone.
That being said, before you with Aspergers want to correct me or criticize me for what I experience or feel, please remember that you can’t possibly understand me unless you are an NT. Which you aren’t.
Nor is my hubby, which brings us back to the breakdowns in communication that we seem to experience every day.
Did you get what I mean or did you hear what it is that I didn’t say, lol.


  1. Im am laughing so hard, the others in the office think i am nuts. Communication is the hardest thing of all in our family. With 1 NT and 2 Aspie (that are completely different) its one big merry-go-round of ups and downs, misunderstandings, taking offence, and confusion for all. I try to write things but they still misunderstand putting emphasis on the wrong words making the meaning completely different. Text messaging is a disaster. If you stand still, speak directly, and manage to get them to look at you, then it looks like im treating them like idiots which they are not. There in no win win in our house with communication.

    1. i am so very glad that i keep you amused, my dear! it sure beats screaming and crying, doesn't it? lol...