Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Fiesta Time

Woo hoo! Our nineteenth anniversary was a calm, sane and enjoyable day. Last year Steve completely forgot our anniversary. I bought him a card “In Deepest Sympathy in the Loss of Your Friend”. I put it in his lunchbox the day after with the original anniversary card that I had gotten him. To be fair, he was sheepish.

As I sit here listening to my Seasick Steve station on Pandora radio (no relation to my  hubby), I realize that as weird as things can be in our household, I truly can’t ‘sing’ the blues. I am content.

I am currently reading Going over the Edge? By Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D. She subtitles it ‘Life with a Partner or Spouse with A.S.’ and gives ‘practical steps to saving… your relationship’. Reading through a couple of sections I recognize the need to spell things out for Steve. I can’t expect him to respond or act in any type of ‘normal’ manner. Giving hints just doesn’t work with him.

This last Sunday I needed to go into the city to stay with my mom so I could get her checked into the hospital early Monday morning for surgery. I arranged for our youngest son to stay with a friend so Steve wouldn’t have to change his work schedule to get kidlet off to school. Steve freaks out when plans are changed last minute.

‘Last minute’ meaning any change within six months of an event. Sort of hard in regular family life which is full of changes and surprises.

Since this left us kid-less Sunday afternoon and I didn’t need to be to mom’s until late, I suggested we go out to dinner to celebrate our upcoming anniversary. Steve was pleased. Weeknights are difficult to arrange ‘date nights’. He had actually purchased a beautiful card for me already and gave it to me right then.

We headed off to one of our favorite restaurants and had a wonderful meal. Steve worked hard to look me in the eye and smile, before staring off in space to talk, or closing his eyes to listen to me. I commented on this, and he responded that he remembered this from my blogs. What a wonderful gift! I was extremely pleased.

Yesterday was our actual anniversary. After I got home from the hospital I made a fiesta feast of chicken fajitas, rice with black beans, and two types of chips with sour cream & salsa dip. One of Steve’s favorite meals. Our son had his buddy over and we all had a delightful meal. Steve didn’t talk much, containing his excitement in his normal stoic way, but the boys made wonderful dining companions. Chocolate chunk cookies and cherry turnovers for dessert topped off a fantastic evening.

Granted there were no surprises, and I did orchestrate the entire day. But it was so, so worth it.

Have no expectations and you will never be disappointed!

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