Sunday, July 22, 2012


“I love you” are probably the three most powerful words in any language, but can be so hard to believe if not followed up by action on the part of the speaker to the speakee.
Asperger’s Syndrome can greatly hamper said communication.
I did it again last night. I said those dreaded words. “What is wrong with you?”
Granted, it was late and I was tired and a bit frustrated. But it is absolutely silly of me to expect normal 'logic' from my esteemed spouse.
After a busy chore-filled day, Steve took me out to dinner. I really appreciated not having to think of preparing a meal. Don’t get me wrong, I love to cook. I just grow weary of having to come up with meal ideas. Tell me what to cook with the ingredients I have on hand and I can make just about anything you want.
The little diner that my Sweetie took me to had a bluegrass band playing. They were fantastic. We sat out on the patio in the warm summer dusk eating pulled pork sandwiches and tapping our feet to incredible music. Local friends that came in after us joined us at our big patio table, so I was able to converse with others while Steve chewed, smiled and rocked gently with the rhythms.
As the conversation at our table ebbed and flowed, someone mentioned tractors. My hubby’s ears perked up and his head swiveled around. Tractors are close enough to cars that he was finally interested in something we were talking about. The others at our table looked surprised. The gal sitting next to me commented quietly, “So he speaks!”
Laugh out loud, yes dear, he does. Let’s hope not too long!
Heading home Steve and I talked a bit about it. That’s when he informed me that it was ‘impolite’ to speak while someone was performing and he had been embarrassed by my behavior.
Say what? It’s a cafĂ©/beer garden with live music on the weekends. Didn’t he see that people were chatting at all the tables around us? The musicians are used to it; they expect it. If it was truly improper then why was Steve the only one in the entire place who wasn’t talking to anyone? Why did he start talking the minute a subject that interested him was introduced?
And then I said “It”.
“What is wrong with you?”
I am sorry, Sweetie. I realize that sometime in your life you were ‘shushed’ at a musical performance, thus cementing the ‘no talking at performances’ rule in your mind. Unfortunately, sometimes that is the ‘rule’ and sometimes it’s not. For the rigid Aspie it can be very hard to differentiate or understand.
Which is why you have me as your helpmate. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with you. You and I together make a 'whole'. We complement and complete each other. We fill gaps in knowledge or experience for each other.
I love you!

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